Perusing my Facebook feed this morning, I came across another post by Tamela J. Gordon, author of one of the critiques of pussy hats to which I linked in my last post.

It’s titled “9 Things Other Women Who Love Pussy Hats More Than Black Women Say.” You should read it here.

No, seriously. Read it. Now.

I’ll wait. 

* 

Gordon is blunt. She’s angry. She’s writing to warn black women:

“If you doubt that one of your pussy hatter friend’s [sic] would choose the pussy hat over you, tell them you think pussy hats are exclusionary, no matter what color they are.”  

Then she prepares them to handle the likely answer:

“Brace yourself.”

Each response in the list that follows is important, but #1 stood out: “I’m going to wear the pussy hat and I don’t care what anyone says!”

I didn’t actively think this on Saturday, but I acted it out. I wore my pussy hat, and I therefore didn’t care enough about the fact that many women find it exclusive to take it off.

(Mandatory disclaimer: I’m not saying that my thoughts represent every pussy hat wearer. I can only speak for myself, albeit not as articulately or accurately as I would like most of the time.)

I reflected a lot about my experience reading Gordon’s piece as I read it. Was I feeling defensive? Was I upset? Was I angered by what she said?

I am as rubbish as most people when it comes to formulating responses before I finish listening to (or reading) someone — no better an active reader than an active listener. All the same, I was able to hold off my reaction for the most part until I finished:

“Woah. She’s right. Point taken and received.”

I come here to acknowledge my mistake, not to highlight how woke I am to withstand such criticism. (I have also come here to make a shitty allusion to Antony’s funeral elegy for his friend and mentor in Julius Caesar.)

I should not have worn the pussy hat. I’m not going to beat myself up for doing so; I’m going to take that critique to heart. The only acceptable response is to acknowledge my mistake and then continue to try and do better as an advocate for racial justice. So that’s what I’ll do.

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